Legends FC — The All-Time Team
This week is all about the team of all-time legends — Legends FC (shown below).
The team’s name is Legends FC and our motto is Men Only.
We have legends only and our training sessions are tough, even tougher than the games themselves.
It’s tough for me as coach as well. Roy Keane and Paddy V are a problem. They kick everyone at training and always want to fight. They have threatened me, but I act cool like I am in charge, even though I am currently wetting my pants.
The star is Ronaldo. He is the best.
I have never seen such a talent: so natural, so smooth and yet so powerful. His best friend in the team is Ronaldinho. Ronaldinho looks up to Ronaldo which is not surprising given his name literally means little Ronaldo.
Zidane is somehow the wild card of this team. You wouldn’t know it by looking at him but Zizou is as capable of wild magic and as he is of wild behaviour.
I love the balance of my team, though. It is an all-weather team as I often tell my assistant coach — Giovanni Trapattoni. Our strength and conditioning coach is Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, by the way, and our defence coach is Fabio Capello. I like to surround myself with legends.
Our team is prepared and able to play any style.
Set-pieces? Check! We will cross and head you.
My boi David Beckham, or Becks to me his coach, is the best set-piece taker in the history of football. Cornerkick, short freekick, long freekick — it doesn’t really matter; Becks will whip it like he don’t care and if your keeper is sleeping, my boi will find the net from the halfway line.
Beckham inspired Wayne Rooney, Xabi Alonso and all the other youngsters that come to watch our training sessions. I tell the young ones they can stay and learn, but no funny business here. I am the boss, don’t be fooled by Roy Keane and Jaap Stam threatening to beat me up. I don’t have time to give autographs to Rooney and his excited pals — Messi, Iniesta and them.
As I said, total focus is required, our sessions are too intense.
Our game-day style of play is equally so but highly flexible.
Parking the bus? Check. There is a Great Wall of China at the back there. Alessandro Nesta and Jaap Stam are masters of the defensive arts — both beautiful and dark — and behind them is OLIVER KAHN.
Not only is Ollie German but his name alone says it all. Yes, we have guys that act out and lose it from time to time, but no one messes with OLIVER KAHN. It is not a good life investment.
Our fullbacks meanwhile are the best of all-time and there’s really nothing you can do to them. Ashley Cole has never been beaten in a one-on-one. He is just amazing and may secretly be my favourite player on the team.
Cafu, on the other flank, is a legend. His t-shirt says ‘I am the best rightback in the history of football’ and he wears it everywhere with pride.
The midfield is a no-nonsense zone.
You want to kick us? OK, but make sure you have talked to Roy Keane and Paddy first.
My Hot Boys upfront there have nothing to worry about. They can freely dribble and drop anyone with no worries of revengeful kicks because if you make a mistake, you will have to answer to Roy Keane and Paddy.
And let’s not get it twisted either, my Midfield Generals can ball.
Last minutesss we need a goal? Roy Hero to the rescue! You are marking and pressing us hard? OK. My guy Paddy V will long-leg stride his way into your box and chip your keeper just for good measure.
Man, it’s so easy to get cocky with this team.
Ronaldo dribbles everyone.
Zidane controls everything.
Ronaldinho is magical every-time.
And Beckham does anything; assists, incredible work-rate — you name it — Becks does it.
Basically, we have everything.
Roy Keane is a leader of men and a brilliant footballer to boot. The exact same can be said of Patrick Vieira.
The defence, for its part, is the definition of Strength and Honour.
It’s a pleasure to coach these legends that gave everything to the game and won everything in the game.
Heart, determination, willpower, warriors — that’s who we are.
Obviously, a lot of the credit goes to the coach; I make beautiful things happen and we win cups. The boys call me Charlie Cool, I don’t know why, but thank you lads. I know deep down you believe I’m the best coach that ever coached you.
But, don’t think we are ever sleeping on our laurels. Our academy is brimming with talent. Didier Drogba, Steven Gerrard, Thierry Henry, Luis Figo — they all want to play and I always tell the first team stars: “Please don’t sleep gentlemen, your place is wanted.”
This is Legends FC.
